Should I just pack my bags now? Should I prepare for the worst?
"...I heard the church bells from afar,
But we found each other in the dark.
And when the smoke does finally pass
We will rise above all the ash...."
City and Colour, We Found Each Other In the Dark
I’m sitting there, clinging to my sweater, trying not to be cold as my hair flies up and around my face, slightly damp from the rain.
I’m sitting there breathing in the goodness that is home, watching the lights twinkle and the cars glide across the black.
I’m sitting there, yawning, not from boredom just sleepiness.
I’m sitting there, sharing lame jokes and laughing just because it’s easy, bumping against his shoulder every now and then.
I’m sitting there missing someone else because he never truly leaves my mind.
Sign 1: We stand up and walk towards the car cause it’s late and time to go home. That’s for the best I thought, I’m totally content with going home.
I’m sitting there, singing along and laughing at his voice cracks.
Sign 2: I’m sitting there, fixing and fixing and re-fixing my hair, worrying about its frizzyness because he said something earlier.
I’m sitting there, watching my house come in sight, smiling and opening the door.
Sign 3: I’m sitting there and he stops me liked I hoped he wouldn’t, I wince in my mind.
And it happened and it didn’t feel right at all and I’m sitting here, feeling stupid with a twinge of guilt attached to it. And I thought what am I even doing here? Where is my other? I just want him. He’s the one that I want to be with right now.
I had three signs. Three little happenings that I should’ve seen. Three instances that said, nope. I had three signs. But I didn’t realize them until after.